Not the Same Pair of Friends...

While having coffee...

Mean Bitch and Sarcastic Bitch saw two girls who were also friends spending their lazy day having coffee as well like the bitches. One would think that it's the same pair of friends, just chilling out in a coffee shop to beat the summer heat. The difference though from the bitches, the other girls had all the right to chill in their little sexy tops and "super short" shorts, given that they were both tall and skinny.

Noticing that all the guys (real guys, that is) in the coffee shop, all had their heads turned toward the skinny pair of girls...

Mean Bitch: (whispering) Oi... oi... ang mga mata, baka malaglag... Tsk! tsk! tsk!
Sarcastic Bitch: M... hayaan mo na... Haaay... kung ako ganyan ka-payat at ka-tangkad... magsusuot din ako nyan... at rarampa dito sa Starbucks! Hahaha
Mean Bitch: Hahaha... kaso... hindi!
Sarcastic Bitch: (pretended not to hear Mean Bitch and just sipped through her drink)... and *changes the topic*

Mean Bitch: Life Baker!

Mean Bitch and Sarcastic Bitch hanging out in Starbucks:

Mean Bitch: Dala mo yung laptop mo?

Sarcastic Bitch: Hindi. Iniwan ko sa bahay eh, bakit?

Mean Bitch: Wala lang... (staying quiet for a while)

Mean Bitch: Uy, naglalaro ka na ba ng Baking Life?

Sarcastic Bitch: May account na ko pero nakakatamad naman maglaro... Alam mo naman ako walang tiyaga sa mga facebook games!

Mean Bitch: * with desparate look on her face* Uy... approve mo naman mga requests ko sayo...

Sarcastic Bitch: Ha? Ok sige next time...

Mean Bitch: Dali na para mag-level up na 'ko... Dali na approve mo na!

Sarcastic Bitch: Ang kulit!!! Ano gusto mo ngayon na??? O sige, uuwi na ko para makapag-approve.

Mean Bitch: Sige uwi ka na!

Sarcastic Bitch: *head scratch*

On Going Back to Antipolo

Sarcastic Bitch: M, samahan mo naman ulit ako sa Antipolo Church...

Mean Bitch: Bakit, anong gagawin natin dun?

Sarcastic Bitch: Pa-bless ko ulit si Britney, lagi syang nababangga eh. Feeling ko, I need to have her blessed again.

Mean Bitch: Asus... gusto mo lang ulit makita yung gwapong pari!

Sarcastic Bitch: PWEDE!!!

Mean Bitch: Landi mo! Hahaha!

Sarcastic Bitch, Frustrated

Sarcastic Bitch (frustrated): I'm tired. I'm stressed. Dami ko pa iniisip. Tapos, I feel so poor pa. Ang daming gastos. Ayoko na talaga gumastos. *frown*
Mean Bitch: Ok lang yan....
Sarcastic Bitch: Sometimes, I feel like I just want to take a vacation. Pwede ba mga one month, mawala na lang muna ko? I wanna go somewhere where I do not have to worry about anything... * dreamy sigh*
Mean Bitch: Ikaw... kaso gastos ulit yun. Hahaha!
Sarcastic Bitch: Shoot! *frown*

Mean Bitch Richer By...

Mean Bitch: Uy, nanalo pala ko sa lotto

Sarcastic Bitch: Wow!!! Magkano??? Balato! Manlibre ka naman!

Mean Bitch: 150...

Sarcastic Bitch (interrupting): Thousand?!?!?!

Mean Bitch: Hindi... Pesos! 150 Pesos!

Sarcastic Bitch: Ha???? Yun na yon??? Kala mo naman ang laki!

Mean Bitch: At least I'm richer by 70 Pesos... 80 pesos lang naman taya ko.

Sarcastic Bitch: Ay kulang pa pang-Starbucks yan. Tse!

Entrepreneurial Pinoys!

For the entrepreneurial pinoys... saludo ako!

While on traffic... we would usually see walking vendors selling celphone chargers, water, chips, etc...
Now this "kuya" was different from all the rest...

Sarcastic Bitch: M, ano daw yung tinitinda ni Kuya?

Mean Bitch: I'm not sure...

Taking a closer look at his note...

"Info"
Tanong - 10 pesos
Turo - 20 pesos
Sama - 30 pesos

Clap clap for Pinoy ingenuity!!!

Mean Bitch: Dapat pala sinama natin si kuya.. Tapos, paturo tayo hanggang divi.. ahahahahhaha!!! :)

Divisoria Day

The Bitches decided to spend the day in Divisoria.

Sarcastic Bitch as the "Driver"

Mean Bitch as the "Navigator"

Mean Bitch's Fiance as the "Observer"

Sarcastic Bitch: M, kaw magturo ng daan. I don't know the way. So, where to?

Mean Bitch: Ok... diretso ka... then kaliwa...

Sarcastic Bitch: Ok, what's next?

Mean Bitch: Tapos diretso-kaliwa.

Sarcastic Bitch: Ha? Wala naman kaliwaan ah..

Mean Bitch: hindi... diretsong kaliwa...

Sarcastic Bitch: Huh?

Mean Bitch's Fiance: *scratching his head*

Finally, in Divisoria...

Mean Bitch: So ano na plano natin gawin dito?

Mean Bitch's Fiance: Ewan ko.

Mean Bitch: Kaw kaya nagyaya dito...

Mean Bitch's Fiance: Wala lang, gusto ko lang makita kung ano meron dito...

Sarcastic Bitch: Ako naman, sumama lang ako para malaman ko kung paano pumunta... hahahaha!

Mean Bitch: *thinking* Uwian na!

After a few hours, the bitches were happy with some great bargain stuff that they bought...

Sarcastic Bitch: I have a new hang-out place!

Mean Bitch: Yeah I agree.

Sarcastic Bitch: Balik tayo next time M, and and next time let's conquer Divisoria!

Mean Bitch: Kuripot ka talaga!

Huwag Spaghetti...

Sarcastic Bitch on the phone with Mean Bitch...

Sarcastic Bitch: Maghahanda ka ba tomorrow?

Mean Bitch: Hindi ko pa sure. Why?

Sarcastic Bitch: Hindi na kasi ako pwede kumain after 8pm.

Mean Bitch: Bakit? Ano yan bagong diet? After 8?

Sarcastic Bitch: Hindi... I need to fast daw, may blood test ako sa Sunday. So kung maghahanda ka, pwede merienda, para makakain pa ko.

Mean Bitch: Eh bakit Sunday ka pa magpapa-blood test? Bakit hindi na lang bukas?

Sarcastic Bitch: Eh, gigimick pa ko tonight eh!

Mean Bitch: Anyenye! Kaya naman pala! Gimikera!

Sarcastic Bitch: Uy, wag spaghetti handa mo bukas ha...

Mean Bitch: Ah ok. Bakit naman?

Sarcastic Bitch: Nasusuka na ko sa Spaghetti eh... 3 araw na yun ang pagkain ko!

Mean Bitch: Haha! Whatever!

Happy Birthday Bitches!!!

We're a year older...a year wiser... and a year BITCHIER!!!

Happy Birthday Bitches!

Peeping Toms

Urban Bitches, hanging out, with laptops side by side, both logged in at Facebook...

Sarcastic Bitch: (typing)
Mean Bitch: (glancing at Sarcastic Bitch's laptop...)
Sarcastic Bitch: Oiii... bawal sumilip! Makikita mo din naman 'to sa wall mo!
After a few minutes...
Mean Bitch: (typing)
Sarcastic Bitch: (discreetly glancing at what Mean Bitch's was typing)
Mean Bitch: Oy...huli ka... titingin-tingin ka din dyan!!!
Sarcastic Bitch: (typing at Mean Bitch's wall) Tagabasag ng trip!!!

Feeling Smart

Mean Bitch: (bitchin' around) Ano yang librong yan?
Sarcastic Bitch: The Facebook Effect. Di mo alam to?
Mean Bitch: Bakit mo pa nilabas yan? Di mo naman binabasa... Alisin mo nga, nakakalat eh.
Sarcastic Bitch: Bakit ba?!?! Hayaan mo na, para kunwari matalino ako, nagbabasa... Oha!!!
Mean Bitch: Feelingera!!!

2010's Talkfest

Recalling last year's banters:

After watching 'My Amnesia Girl'

Mean Bitch: What if ganun yung maging bf mo? Katulad ni Apolo (John Lloyd) sa movie?
Sarcastic Bitch: Ang cheesyness... sa pelikula lang yan!
Mean Bitch: Wushu! Cheesy ka naman dati!
Sarcastic Bitch: Huh?! Hinde ko maalala!
Mean Bitch: May amnesia ka?! ahahaha! :))

While having coffee somewhere...

Sarcastic Bitch: Ano pinapanood mo? (while browsing net with her laptop)
Mean Bitch: wala lang.. baket? (while browsing net with her laptop too)
Sarcastic Bitch: Wala lang, papanoorin ko din..
Mean Bitch: LOL! Tig-isa na nga tyo laptop pareho pa tyo naka-connect sa net! ahaha!! Inggitera!!! Mai-post nga!! ahahah!!!

Sarcastic Bitch: Siyet!!!

after posting...

Sarcastic Bitch: ahahhaha!! Bakit nde nagreflect sa wall ko ang post mo?

Mean Bitch: Malay ko.. Gusto mo ulitin ko? ahahah!!

During a Saturday hang-out...

Mean Bitch: Nagluto pala ko ng Callos nung isang araw!

Sarcastic Bitch: Ano yung callos?
Mean Bitch: Ox tripe
Sarcastic Bitch: Ahhh.. Hinde ako kumakain ng kumot...
Mean Bitch: Twalya yun S.. Twalya!!! May sense of humor ka talaga!!! Ako may sense.. Ikaw ang humor!!!! :p

Sarcastic Bitch: Siyet!!! Malay ko ba na ang ox tripe ehl hindi pillow sheet!!!

Mean Bitch (raised one eyebrow): huh?! pillow case, bed sheet!!! ahahahah!!!

Desperate Measures

Spending another Sunday evening together...

Sarcastic Bitch: Uy, parang pumayat ka na...
Mean Bitch: Thank you.
Mean Bitch's brother: Oo sa dami ba naman ng iniinom nyan...
Mean Bitch's Fiance: Oo nga, nakakatakot sa dami
Sarcastic Bitch: Wow, kelan ka ba nagsimula?
Mean Bitch: Kahapon lang...
Sarcastic Bitch: Nyeh... Patingin nga ng iniinom mo.
Mean Bitch went to get the "stuff", laid out several plastic bottles at the table: Vita Glow, Carbo Trim, Trim 'n Fit, Green detox...
Sarcastic Bitch: Ang dami ah... Desperada?!?!?!

Father, Pa-Bless Naman Ng Kotse Ko...

One Sunday, Sarcastic Bitch asked the Mean Bitch to go with her in Antipolo Church for her new car to be blessed:


Before the blessing...

The bitches were last in line in the car blessing waiting area. Sarcastic Bitch spotted the cute priest, she was about to tell Mean Bitch about it, when she turned around... Mean Bitch was already on her feet towards the priest.
Sarcastic Bitch: (thinking) HUH???

Mean Bitch and Sarcastic Bitch waiting for the priest for the car blessing.. another priest passed by..
Sarcastic Bitch: Itago mo yung resibo..
Mean Bitch: Bakit?
Sarcastic Bitch: Kase yung gwapo yung gusto ko.. ahahahha!! :))

Mean Bitch: (kunwari kausap si father) Father, pwede ba magpakasal?
Father: (kunwari sumagot) Ah oo naman... kanino?
Mean Bitch: (nangangarap) Sa iyo! Hahaha!!!


After the blessing...

Sarcastic Bitch: Mag-madre na lang kaya ako?!?!
Mean Bitch: Bakit?!?!
Sarcastic Bitch: Eh kase ang gwapo ni father.. magseserve na lang ako dito sa antipolo..
Mean Bitch: Hmmm.. Balik na lang tyo next week.. Pabless natin yung volks..
Sarcastic Bitch: Hinde.. Bili na lang tyo ulit ng kotse.. TOYOTA!! ILABAS ANG YARIS!!! ...ahahahha!! :))

Sarcastic Bitch: Anong oras na?
Mean Bitch: (tingin sa relo) 10:30 na...
Sarcastic Bitch: 11:00 na kaya...
Mean Bitch: Nyak! Tumigil ang oras ko nung nakita ko si Father!!!

Mean Bitch: Gutom na ko...
Sarcastic Bitch: Ako busog na..
Mean Bitch: Ha? Bakit?
Sarcastic Bitch: Nabusog ako nung nakita ko si Father... *beautiful eyes*
Mean Bitch: Ako, lalo ko nagutom nung nakita ko sya! *sly smile*